OK,I Left It!
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney ©11
"It is my experience that when people say "what you see is what you get", they actually mean "I am narrow minded, rigid, smart ass and not willing to compromise, neither will I learn anything, I am all knowing and wise and I know better on every subject - take it or leave it!"....okie dokie, I will leave it"!~Ria Grobler,artist-South Africa
It was one of those morning when I arose very early, not out of fits of sleep but because I got enough sleep, so the synapses are working...
I figure I would get a jump start of several things that have to be completed by tomorrow some of which did not get accomplished yesterday due to other people not upholding their end of what they were suppose to do.
I warn you, this is not a rant. This is about leaving.
We have probably all have heard someone or even ourselves say something similar to "this is just how I am, take it or leave it"... Two things stand out ; the word "just" and "take it or leave it". The latter is said with some sense of pride or perhaps defiance as if they have now done something well. Has anyone ever thought that "just" may not be good enough? Not acceptable, minimize you? And the order to take or leave gives the invitee a choice, one that you may not like?
As in OK, I'll leave it. What or where you are (or I) is not acceptable for me. I would prefer not to be bothered with it. I no longer have any expectations you will do the right thing, but refuse to condone what is unacceptable. If it's working for you & apparently it must as you keep on doing it, but do I?
When it is we talking to me (my giving myself permission to minimize my awesomeness) it is a lazy co-op designed to allow me not to be awesome at least for today. Or even for a minute. It is usually F.E.A.R based (False Expectations Appearing Real). Can I do this? Can I change my health? Can I readjust my eating patterns? Can I dare to see myself as beloved & beautiful? Can I see other people as being humanely flawed as not having all the answers? That their thoughts are their own & does not necessarily reflect MY experiences or relevance? Can I disregard other people's opinion of me? Does their approval really matter as much as I have made it?
Can I be my best ally?
Yes we can... It takes W.I.S.D.O.M (When I Seriously Decide On More). I cannot take credit for this, this nugget came from my son who decided (ah maturity is a wonderful thing) who decided he wanted more.
More not necessarily in a monetary way, but want more for his life, not from shrinkage from shirking what he knew he must do and working to that end.
In a number of discussion with a many a passionate people, I've come to notice (mind you this my experience) that some people are or can be bound & intent to make ensure that his view was it... the ultimate, case closed. Take it or leave it. Some of that comes from indeed passion, a singular vision, the belief that what they say is it, take or leave it... I appreciate seeing ones active in working toward an end that their vision until they become so adament that unless you submit to ti you will be slammed . Take it or leave it can be a wonderful suggestion to take under advisement...
So, I took it...
Then I left it...
I cite this example to say that while weighing all the "facts", passions & climate in which people become so narrow minded I/you/ we may decide that it not worthwhile, in fact counter-productive to continue any discussion or action we may take, then we or others may flex their collective muscle & take another action. Too often women are expected to conform too many times never daring to question, look at differently, do ably which was bad enough but we also have to be awe struck at the "they" wisdom.
Whomever the "they" may be...
I speak to as a woman. I do not have the feelings or thoughts of a man, so it would be presumptuous of me to speak to that, so I will help to save you the leap of judgement (unless you've already done it) to think I am being combative or speaking about men...
I am not.
But it did indeed make me think about how the "take it or leave it" mindset can adversely affect people from being their full awesomeness. If you read any on others successes , the ones who have attained their goals or close to attainment, do not have the "take it or leave it" approach. There is enough flexibility & resiliency with a dash of humor as they look forward even when the misery of falling down happens.
Others, their words show more rigidity,a learned helplessness, a variation & continuation of "that's just the way I am" then wondering why the results they are looking for does not happen.
Well it won't.
Please know I am not sitting on a throne, condemning anyone about whatever approach they take. I am writing from a purely observational standpoint. In fact, I've done it myself. Yet , I do hold up a magnifying glass
to myself frequently applying to myself peering into whether or not I am applying W.I.S.D.O.M
(When I Seriously Decide On More)...
I have called myself into check with kindness for all my flawed awesomness. Some days are good, others even better, some days rotten, well maybe not rotten but not where I want it to be.
(OK that are my flaws talking).
Earlier in this blog I spoke of needing to get a jump start on some things I have to get done by tomorrow some of which needed to have been finished yesterday, but because of others not upholding their end of the bargain, so when it did not happen, I have to find another plan. Part of the plan was I left it!
I could have really grumble and rant but what good would that have done other then raised my blood pressure which would not be good. These ones had a take it or leave it posture & one is suppose to be alright with it.
Well I'm not. I will leave it, care of it myself. It threw today off for me but it is necessary that I care for it. So my sense is doing what they failed to do, I discovered a side benefit burnt extra calories, gaining a little more strength, getting it done, self-gratification in the results. Seeing it this way will keep me from grumbling wasting precious energy on rigidity. I leave it as I will know never to have any expectations from them to do what was right. They indeed said "take it or leave it", so it is prudent , necessary for me give the"take it or leave it" folks plenty of room, not be part of my package, my team of allies.
Houston, I left the building...
There will not be an army of farm animals coming to dine at the table after the little red hen did the work. They will not get to savor the fruits of my baking the bread. They will have to go find another table.
I have P.E.A.C.E ( Positive Energy Activating Constant Elevation).
So I took it & left...
All Rights ReservedJHM©11
Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown: